--> We're oceans away. Untitled Document

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via somewhereinn3v3rland)

helioscentrifuge:

foxnewsofficial:

i think maybe teenagers are so unhappy because the naive expectations they developed over a carefree childhood are now being relentlessly crushed and they’re slowly realizing life isn’t going to be so easy and you can’t be an astronaut without a bunch of qualifications and they’re really sad about that and that’s why i think we should all be mean to babies more often and introduce the hunger games 

image

(Source: foxnewsofficial, via when-youre-gone-ill-be-broken)

slapmytitties:

What if instead of having sirens ambulances just played move bitch get out the way by ludacris

(via when-youre-gone-ill-be-broken)

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

(via orgasmictipsforgirls)

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

(via orgasmictipsforgirls)